The Info Backstage

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song, “Non, je ne regrette rien”, remains an anthem in part because of the issues that so many of us have with regret. If the emotionally vulnerable Parisian sparrow could live free from regrets then maybe the rest us can also.

Women who are just starting out on their journey of recovery from abuse are often stymied by the spectre of future regret.

Curiously, that regret isn’t generally about wasting their time, love and energy on an emotional Neanderthal. Instead it’s about their own perceived failures in the relationship and the fear that they might yet realise that they have given up on a good thing.

(Quite why a ‘good thing’ would masquerade so resolutely as a bad thing defies explanation. But any woman who is prepared to believe in the fundamental goodness of her partner, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, should never accuse herself of a lack of optimism. Sure, it may be misplaced, but it proves that she has a capacity for unlimited optimism that she can begin to turn to her own advantage.)

Future regret is a worst-case scenario in which a woman views her unhappy relationship through rose coloured blinkers and sees a yet more distorted and selective reworking of reality.

Future regret is actually an expression of present fear: fear that she will never again encounter such a wonderful human being (truly); fear that life has nothing more to offer her, nor she to offer life; fear of the void that awaits her.

Abuse breeds fear, and fear breeds paralysis.

It’s powerful stuff. But where does it come from?

Abusive partners endlessly – and in all seriousness – tell women just how wonderful they, the abusers, are. They brainwash women into accepting a questionable worldview in which abused women have been blessed with the incredible, unrepeatable good fortune of being tolerated by a prince-among-men…

Now, suppose these women have already been subjected to a schematic vision of the world in which their alleged unworthiness is tolerated (just), by their (wonderful) parents or family members. Then, much of the groundwork has already been done, even before a prince-among-men (P-A-M) appears, croaking his endearing frog-like croak.

Given their lack of self-assurance, abused women assume that a P-A-M-free future is likely to be worse than reality deux. They don’t think that this is actually an incredibly tall order. Abusive men are, after all, past masters at ensuring that things are as bad as they can get. (Some will continue to do so, even after the woman ends the relationship.)

Nevertheless, it is possible for abused women to create the future they want for themselves. All the more so once they realise that present fears cannot accurately predict future reality.

In “The Sedona Method”, Hale Dwoskin makes the telling observation: “Feelings only lie. They tell us we are going to get from letting go of them what we already have from holding on to them.” So it is with our fears and regrets. What we fear we will regret by letting go of a situation, is simply what we have by holding on to it.

As a general principle, people who instil in you a fear of what you might live to regret are precisely those who feel they stand to lose by what you might decide. Their (unspoken) fear is that you might spread your wings and fly, leaving them behind, earth-bound. In other words, in an undeniably neat manoeuvre, they have managed to dump their fear onto you, in the guise of your alleged future regret.

Once you can see how regret is designed to hamstring you, you can start to move forward into the unknown and the future free of your old fear.

C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women’s Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com To subscribe to Annie’s twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook ‘The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com

Literature and storytelling have been at the heart of culture for hundreds of years. Before the printing press it flourished orally, passing through communities and generations in the recesses of memory. It was adapted by each teller, and recorded according to their preferences as they retold it to their audiences. Oral masterpieces – Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, the anonymously written Sir Gawain and the Green Knight – were never recorded in definitive versions by their authors. As time and technique drove on, forms of printing were established, so that authors could record their work. Generally speaking, the earliest forms of production was woodblock printing, which dates back to 220AD. The earliest surviving forms can be found in China, with similar types from Egypt.

In Europe, block printing was common practice by 1300. Even during early modern history, then, literature and storytelling can be seen as synonymous with the destruction of habitats; every piece that was block printed required wood for the process. But this reached a larger scale in the European industrial revolutions, when mass printing – similar to the forms in which we know it today – required the pulp of vast numbers of trees as demand for printing increased. To this day, then, the mass production of printed literature means the mass pulping of the world’s natural habitats.

There caption, “Where Books Grow Trees” is a perfect encapsulation of the problem and solution: to offset the production of books with the recycling of old ones. They have also made the endeavour commercially viable; each and every book that is sold through the website costs just £3.75, and postage and packing is free. It means that it can attract customers looking for a bargain, before connecting them to the cause.

They also buy used books for £3.00, meaning that they make a margin of profit, whilst keeping a circulation of books recycling amongst the websites members.

And their commitment grows stronger, as the website outlines:

“By recycling used books not only are we saving existing trees, we’re actually planting new ones. How? GreenMetropolis.com donates 5p for every book sold to the ‘Tree For All’ campaign run by the Woodland Trust.” The Woodland Trust – endorsed, as outlined above, by Green Metropolis – is dedicated to the conservation and preservation of the UK’s native woodland. It has four main aims:
1) No further loss of ancient woodland.
2) Improving the biodiversity of our woodlands.
3) Increasing and restoring native woodlands.
4) Increasing people’s awareness and enjoyment of woodland. Green Metropolis, along with its compulsory donation of 5p for every book sold, encourages its members to donate too, from the books they sell to the website.

So they keep a constant circulation of used books away from the litter bins, and invest in the growth of new habitats. It is a website then, that encourages community and an active role in the environmental protection of the UK. Buy a Book. Plant a Tree.

Chris Woolfrey is the solar panels expert at EcoSwitch The environmental social network.

Just when you thought you knew it all, there it is… another fail-safe sure-fire remedy to all of life’s foibles. Being single has got to be among the biggest let downs in history and the greatest opportunity for advice abuse. The funny thing is, we as human beings KNOW we are supposed to be with one another. Yet, we always manage to search, find and discard each other like perishable fruit, some of us more often than not. Why and how it is we know we are to be together is best explained by taking the time to explore the Knowledge of Y.O.U.. This information is actually so old it’s new again. Those that enjoy the exploration of man’s evolvement have traced it as far back as man’s early attempt at speaking but it’s safe to say it’s at least 3000 years old. I found the wisdom to be extremely useful in my own pursuit of love and eventually shared my discoveries with girlfriends that used it to find love. In fact, I recently wrote a book at the urgent request of clients and students who were getting writer’s cramp trying to take notes in my seminars.

In class I cover many things but the most useful of all laws addressed in this understanding of the lost art of matchmaking is the Law of Attraction. This law is nothing like the popularized laws addressing what I call the “OOH Baby” factor. When you leave class you not only know first hand why he moves you and it what direction but WHAT he looks like!

If you want someone that lights your fire…. I suggest you learn to find a good match. Don’t expect dating sites to do the work for you. Their job is to provide the meeting place. Yours is to show up and know what to do. Start by getting to know Y.O.U….

to be continued…
Zannah Hackett

Zannah Hackett Rev,BAE,MA, relationship expert, inspirational speaker and author of The Ancient Wisdom of Matchmaking, teaches the Knowledge of Y.O.U., your own understanding, revealing the lost art of matchmaking. She shows others how to recognize their perfect life partner, home or job instantly! Her seminars, sessions and relationship expertise has helped thousands realize their dreams and live happily ever after.

The rate of new love and marriages is rising as fast as the divorce rate. That forces the question – are people really falling in love? If they are then why is the divorce rate so high? Isn’t love enough? Where is the commitment? Love and marriage are still important to people. So what is the deal? Why is the divorce rate still climbing?

Love and marriage happens everyday but that’s not true for every one. Perhaps most people don’t really give themselves a chance to fall in love for the right reasons. One reason for this is that people don’t really get to know each other before having sex, making a commitment and getting married, all in that wrong order. When a couple begins dating both people are usually on there best behavior. In other words they have put up a front or faade. This can continue for a while. People don’t really get to see the actual character of a person sometimes until after about a year or so. This is because during the dating phase you wont get into situations together that will test what you are made of.

How long before love and marriage should you date? How do you know if you should make a commitment?

After about a year when the newness of the relationship is wearing off couples begin to face more of life’s situations together. They begin to see how one another react under stress and handle situations outside the dating scene bubble. This is time you should decide if love and marriage and a commitment is what you want with this person. This is the time you will find out what the other person is made of in tough situations.

Sex

If you have been able to abstain from sex in the relationship you are better prepared to make clear good decisions. Sex will cause you to overlook or ignore things that may be important to you. Sex itself in not enough of a reason to get married. Sex certainly can’t hold it all together for you.

Love and marriage is one of the most important commitments you will ever make. Abstinence is not a popular dating tip for men and women these days, but it is a good dating tip. From your first date until your last date, if you don’t marry, should be conducted with respect to each other. If he/she is not willing to abstain with you he/she is probably not the one you are looking for. If it turns out that you are not compatible with the person you are seeing you should leave the goods undamaged (emotional goods). That means you should be able to get to know one another without making the sexual connection so that if you get to the point where you decide to end the relationship the emotional pain is minimized. Sometimes couples end up getting married simply because they have been having sex.

The plus side to arriving at love and marriage through getting to know one another, and abstaining from sex is that you will have been able to make sound decisions about your relationship without the influence of sex. You will know what it is you love about your mate and why you want to marry them. None of your feelings of love will be rooted in sex.

Love

Sex is a truly unstable foundation for a relationship because it is not designed to be so. In love you have patience, kindness, the absence of jealousy, pride and boastfulness. In love there no rudeness. Love does not demand it’s own way. Love is not easily irritated and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs done against it. Love is never glad about injustice and always rejoices when truth wins. Love never gives up. This is the kind of strength you want as the foundation of a relationship. If you have these things in place then after marriage sex will function as the tool of intimacy it was meant to be.

Sex outside marriage

If however you find yourself engaging in sex before you see the function of true love, and, before marriage you will have tainted any chance of ever knowing for sure if you are getting married for the right reasons. You can’ t be sure if your new mate will be faithful to you.

Sex is a powerful connection meant for marriage. Outside of marriage it has the power to destroy relationships instead of enhancing them. How many marriages have ended because of infidelity? Sex can be addictive. How many people do you know who have developed such a taste for sex before marriage that they can’t be faithful to the person they are married to? Remaining abstinent will help you determine if you are with a person who is in control of him/herself.

Love and marriage is not for the faint hearted. It is hard enough to build a relationship and keep your commitment. So, why don’t you begin your time together the right way? Give your relationship time. Abstain from sex outside of marriage in order to keep your ability to make clear and right decisions about the relationship. In doing so you will ensure that you are getting married for the right reason – the stable foundation of love and not the unstable foundation of sex.

Can we imagine a place in the world today without a marketing activity. It looks remote. When we all move from one place to the other, we need an interactive or a Communicative Response System (CRS) to facilitate a marketing activity and enable the market to respond. When this Communicative Response System (CRS) eventually reaches a market, there are buyers and sellers waiting to respond.

Marketing is not today what it used to be years ago. It started as a barter and has reached a currency world with a variety of geographical segments and demographics. Marketing in simple terms is a distribution of products and services of a company in order to realize a value in form or in kind. While it is true, marketing today encompasses a wide range of activities including relationship building.

Relationship building is key to the success of any service organization. A marketing activity does not end with a buy or a sale. Today, it requires establishing and building capabilities to create retention. From the company’s point of view, identifying and understanding the requirements of the customer in clear terms is the first step in the process of starting a relationship building exercise.

Private banking sector, for instance, in India has undergone a tremendous change in the last 5-6 years. From being a lending institution, private banking has spread its wings to include services such as insurance, risk-management, asset-management as the core activities. The bottom-line is your capability to build, develop and maintain a relationship that is long-standing and mutually beneficial. Because, the chances of succeeding service marketing or any type of marketing for that matter, depends firstly on the extent of proximity you could establish with the company.

Service marketing is gaining prominence in all sectors. BPOs, Call Centers are making huge money in contrast to the product marketing. The top 5 factors influencing relationship building exercise to succeed in service marketing are

1. Be customer-centric. Put the customer first and for a moment put yourself in the customers’ place.

2. Identify and understand what customer wants in terms of products and services and the value that you could create to your customer by offering your services.

3. Consistent follow-up with the customer to demonstrate the extent of interest and seriousness and also the capabilities that you have developed over a period of time, for instance, your client base.

4. Respond in time to the requirements of your customer and focus on feedback evaluation to check and ensure you did not deviate anything from the specifications.

5. Share your success with your friends and colleagues to create in a way your brand image and stay on to receive feedback and suggestions from them.

I am a New Delhi based freelance journalist. I write articles and am particularly interested in non-fiction. My areas of interest include writing business articles, parenting, health and entertainment. I can be reached at hp31_67@yahoo.com

There are various sensual aids out there on the sex toy market and glass dildos are incredible toys to use or give to your mistress. Sensual aids can be types of art, as seen by the marvellous glass dildos on sale in shops. The fantastic glass dildos are different as you may control the warmth of the sex aid. The difference in warmth makes love making sessions tremendous.

The most excellent thing about this breed of martial toy is that they are sturdy. The sex toy can come in different colours and might be used for back passage love making. The great thing is the sex toys could be positioned in the microwave to quickly heat up. The hard wearing glass holds the best temperature so you can carry on with your baby making without having to adjust the temperature regularly.

Cleaning a marital aid is easier than you think. Sex toys, especially glass dildos, will probably be cleaned quickly. Wash it in soap and water or use a sex aid cleaner from a sexual toy website. Glass dildos are wonderful sexual toys to help heat up your sensual life with your wife. The 1st time your partner uses a martial toy like a glass dildo they will have a nice orgasm. Toys will be used at anytime and are a marvellous essential to any house. Enjoy sex with Cheap Sex Toys.

I did everything possible to save our relationship. I gave in a lot, but I could not save. We will be breaking-up soon. That has already broken my heart. This relationship was made brick by brick over so many years. What all we did not do to make it last? But alas, we are breaking -up. This is a typical statement from a person facing break-up. How to survive after a break-up? Will you survive a break-up? Why not quiz yourself about it?

The immediate effect of the break-up would be pain. Will you be able to take the pain? The pain would go away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact will be high. You will have to gather all your energy and tolerate the pain.

The second effect would be bitterness and blame. You will keep thinking about the behavior of your ex partner and fix blame everywhere. You will recap all the arguments and fights and there will be a large amount of self-talk about how you were ditched. That will not be a pleasant experience. You will have to find way out of all this by spending quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy. Are you ready for that?

The major effect would be the temptation to join immediately with anew partner. This can work both the ways. Some people never wish to form a relationship again after undergoing the trauma, while some want to form a relationship as soon as possible to forget the earlier one. Both of theses choices carry danger. The best alternative is to wait for sometime and when you find your stability and self esteem back, try and form another relationship. Are you ready for this?

The author C.D.Mohatta writes articles, advice and ideas at http://www.yourromanceguide.com/ on topics like love, dating, marriage, relationships, break-ups, etc. He also writes for screen-savers and desktop wallpapers at http://www.screene.com/ on topics like nature, spirituality, motivation, love-romance, holidays, animals, etc. The third site associated with the author is http://www.yourfungames.com/ – it has free flash games which anyone can play online.

“When I think back
on all the crap I learned in high school
It’s a wonder
I can think at all”

Paul Simon, Kodachrome

Unless you are a military historian, it is completely irrelevant to your life that the Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815. Yet that knowledge is taught to you in school. Instead of teaching you how to create and live a happy and successful life, they fill your mind with trivia. Why?

It’s a cold hard truth. 90% of what you think you know is erroneous, inadequate or irrelevant. I am not insulting you; it is the same for me and 99% of the other people on this planet. We all tend to live our lives based on outdated or useless information; worse, we often base our whole belief systems on ignorance and superstition.

It is no wonder, then, that our attempts to create the success and happiness we desire in life are met with failure. Like some political leaders, we base our decisions on faulty intelligence and then try to convince ourselves and the world that the decisions are still valid despite the evidence of our failures.

I’ll let you in on a little secret…

The results we experience in life (what we have) is the result of the way we live our lives (what we do). The way we live our lives is the result of who we are (and are becoming). Who we are is the result of what we choose to think we know and what we choose to believe. It is our thoughts and beliefs that produce the results in our lives.

If what we think is based upon erroneous, inadequate or irrelevant information or knowledge, then the results that show up in our lives will be erroneous, inadequate or irrelevant.

If you do not want to live an erroneous, inadequate and irrelevant life, then you need to acquire and apply the knowledge that will empower you to achieve the success and happiness you desire.

The knowledge that leads to happiness and personal fulfillment is to be found in the awareness that you are intimately linked to the infinite, ineffable sacred source of all that is. Many people are under the impression that they can have happiness when they have the right spouse, have that dream home, have the ideal toys, have a certain amount of money in the bank or have whatever. They equate happiness with havingness.

Happiness is, however, a state of being. You get to be happy by choosing to be more loving, choosing to be more appreciative of and grateful for ALL that life has to offer, choosing to be more contributory to life, choosing to be more reverent of the whole universe and ALL its component parts. Being happy and fulfilled is NOT dependent upon having anything; it is dependent upon choosing to revere, relish and contribute.

The knowledge that leads to success (and to leaving a legacy) is to be found in the awareness that you are a consciously creative force in the ongoing evolution of the universe. Many people are under the impression that they will have success when they have the right spouse, have that dream home, have the ideal toys, have a certain amount of money in the bank or have whatever. They equate success with havingness (attainment or achievement).

Success is, however, a state of being. You get to be successful by learning how to enact your ideals, by learning how to think for yourself, by learning how to believe in yourself, by learning that your true success is not measured by what you are able to accumulate but by what you are enabled to contribute.

The more loving that I become, the more perfect the spouse that I get to have. The more appreciative of the things I have in life, the more valuable they become. The more grateful I become for what life offers me, the more I deserve to have more. The more contributory that I am to the lives of others, the more I get to have. In other words, the more valuable that I become, the more valuables I get get have.

There are people in this world who have less talent than you do, have less education than you do, have fewer opportunities than you do; yet, they are more successful. Why? Because of how they choose to be.

There are people in this world who have less of everything than you do; yet, they are happier. Why? Because of how they choose to be.

Want more out of life? Figure out how to become more.

Become more reverent of life and all that it encompasses and it will revere and honor your existence more. Relish (enjoy) all that life has to offer more and life will provide more for you to enjoy. Become more contributory to life and life will contribute more to you.

Here is what you need to know… You are a gift. Now give 100% of yourself to life. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how many presents you receive in return. Stop focusing on the havingness and start focusing on the beingness. It is always be, do, have. It is never have, do, be.

© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.

Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra’s DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com.

Reprinting and republishing of this article is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.

The 8820 has proven surprisingly popular with buyers and has been a real winner for BlackBerry. Compared to some of the more well known mobile handsets for the price the 8820 is quite reasonably well featured. The BlackBerry 8820 is a very well designed phone with a contemporary feel to it.

The 8820 has Polyphonic, MP3 ring tones enabled along with a vibrating alert. The screen is a 65K colors. Moving on to battery usage the BlackBerry 8820 has 520 hrs standby time and 5:00 talk time. The battery cell supplied with the 8820 is a Li-Ion 1400 mAh. This mobile phone is one of the more compact handsets available. If colour is on your list of requirements you may like to know that this handset only comes in Silver. The 8820 weighs in at 134 g. The BlackBerry 8820 is has bluetooth, making interactivity with a range of contemporary mobile devices very convenient. The 8820 is compatible with 2G GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900 . For those that need access to the Internet on the move a WAP 2.0/xHTML, HTML browser is included.To allow mobile Internet access a WAP 2.0/xHTML, HTML browser is included. Additional features of the BlackBerry 8820 include, Organizer, Built-in GPS navigation with BlackBerry maps, To-Do list, Document viewer (Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint, Corel WordPerfect and Adobe PDF), Built-in handsfree, Voice dial, Java and Media player.

Unfortunately for BlackBerry the 8820 is up against numerous rival products making it possible to find a real bargain on this mobile handset. The most popular way to shop for a mobile at the current time is online. Ordering online can save you a lot of money, incredibly it is possible to get a BlackBerry 8820 on a 12 month free deal , which should not cost a cent.

Bind together both of man’s predominating interests and you’ll unearth a rage we know as a sportsbook gambling Web property. Would you know of anything that could be more inventive? Visualize a mix of fellas rooting for a given preferred sports club, and ceaselessly wagers are sure to be announced in addition to the noise. Set to get their piece of the exhilaration, spectators typically try to figure out who will prevail the forthcoming race. Put together, this all eventually turns into a charming little race titled sportsbook gambling Web property.

Join the web’s hottest online betting betting online sports sports community here!

Granted that it admittedly might easily appear to be overpowering, though in fact sportsbook wagers is essentially simply entertaining and to connect with one’s friends. Here, you’ll be able to risk a a puny quantity of mazuma and nevertheless have an extraordinary time. Here are various basic guidelines to get going sportsbook wagers.

To place your wager, you’ll probably want to surf to a sportsbook gambling Web property, i.e. a place that tenders sportsbook gambling Web property. In the US, you have no less than four states to do sportsbook wagers absolutely legally, but beyond legality you may go for it anywhere as long as you hunt out a bookie AND you’re a legal adult. Covered sports you’ll be able to bet on are professional & college class basketball plus football, professional hockey and baseball, & betting on. Punters will have a choice of betting on the general results of a fight or game, on what round the contestant will go under, and even if a tossed coin in a fight or game will land either heads or tails.

The bookies trust stats be of assistance to you come to a conclusion which sports club you sense will prevail. First, we have the spread, or specific points lead given to a the losing side that is anticipated to go down by a specific number points. This describes the sportsbook setup’s conventional manner of enabling evenhanded bets for a sports book. By way of an example, you will have the option of wagering on a team that is anticipated to go down and and nevertheless make money on that wager as long as the side is actually beaten by a specific number of points.

You will find countless sorts of bets, the straight bets, where all you have to do is to determine the side you believe is most likely to win or lose being the dominating one in sportsbook wagers.

Why not just have a bash at it, and enjoy the excitement for good measure? Just ensure that you won’t get too enthused and spend your complete income capriciously. Because else you’ll probably end up filled with remorse for life.